Confessions of a Game Store Customer
It’s time for me to come clean to all of you Game Store clerks out there, I’ve been holding this in for a really long time and I need to get it off my chest. Hopefully this doesn’t violate the non-disclosure agreement that I and the other 20 million Game Store customers signed, otherwise I could lose my license.
Look, it’s not that we hate you or the establishment that you’re a tool of. It’s just that, well how can I say this… you’re acting kind of obnoxious. All retail sucks, ask anyone who’s ever worked at a record store, a video rental store, or an American Eagle. They’ll fill your ears and your hearts with tales of customers yelling about nonsense, district managers imposing strict new sales policies and monotonous half-hearted rituals they must complete during each and every sale.
I know that video games are the most important thing on the planet, and by working for EBGameStopCrazy you’re playing a key role in keeping the earth from shifting off it’s axis, but seriously. The truth is, most of us think you guys (and gals) are kind coming off like dicks. I realize that working around video games all day means you are 1 credit short of a PhD in game development, but that doesn’t mean you have to rub it in all the time. We’re just there to buy some games, ya know? It would be nice to do so without being scrutinized by some pretentious 19 year old in a red and black Star Trek polo (you do know we laugh at those when we walk out of the store right?)
While we’re getting things out in the open, can I get through your store one friggin’ time without hearing a lengthy diatribe about your level 63 Warlock’s talent spec and it’s role in the raid guild? Please? For the love of God.
No, we don’t want to pre-order Halo 3, GTA4 or Metal Gear 4. I’m pretty confident Best Buy will have a small munitions depot worth of them the day they come out. I really don’t want the strategy guide for Elite Beat Agents either thanks, I think I’ll manage. Thanks for the $3 you gave me for that G.R.A.W. trade-in, I look forward to putting it towards the tax for G.R.A.W. 2.
So come on, stop taking your job so seriously. We all know it sucks, we don’t need to hear the ins and outs of your 5 hour shift. No one out here is harboring any illusions about the company you work for, it’s pretty clear they’re out to make money and that’s pretty much it. Last time I checked, thats what the other 64 stores in the mall are trying to do as well.
Oh, and don’t forget to tighten up those graphics in level 3 on your way out.
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