The Halloween Box.
Is my house the only keeper of the Halloween Box? You know, some big smelly box that sits around all year, but for some strange reason brought out every Halloween?? No idea?
Well, in case I'm the only person that has a mysterious Halloween box, here's the run down.
First off, this thing has probably been around longer then me. It smells like shit, and is the beholder of some of the WORST costumes ever. Since my family is pretty much grown up now, there really isn't anything recently added to it. Thanks to idiots like my sister, and my little niece and nephew (not included with idiots), this UGLY box gets pulled out of the attic every year. And every year I get mad at its contents.
However, I'm not going to lie. When I was a little tyke I thought this box was the shit. Just watching my dad pull this thing down every year was a treat. I loved rummaging through the smelly box to check out some of the shit I wore before, or just get a few memories. I'm not quite sure why I liked it so much, because I totally despise it now.
Yesterday when I came in from work, I noticed that the box had been once again called forth for the Halloween season. I walked right by it and thought nothing of it, besides how stupid it is.
However, earlier today I decided to look through it. Upon inspection I came across various items that were so lame, that I felt I just HAD to wear them. First up is the Ninja Turtle mask.
The Ninja Turtle mask is just great. When I held this thing in my hand, I think a million and one memories flashed up in my head. See, back when I loved the Ninja Turtles, I felt that I had to be EVERY Turtle each year of Halloween. Unfortunately (in a child-like way), I was only two of them. The first year, I was Donetello and I wore this ridiculous costume that my dad had made me. But you know, even though it was was ridiculous, it was still the best Turtle costume I saw that year - and let me tell you, there were many a Turtle out that Halloween. The second year I was Raphael. Now, I took a cheap way out on Raph. My dad didn't make me a costume this time, and instead I ended up buying the cheesy foam shell and this HORRIBLE Raphael mask. In fact, even then I think the Raph mask was scoffed at. I think I wore it for a total of 10 minutes.
So yeah, I put the mask on. It's awful, not to mention the fact it's about a million and one times smaller on my head then it originally was.
The next "mask" also has a bit of history behind it. During 8th grade, my class had to put on this Halloween show for the whole school (all 50 of 'em). Originally, my friends and I wanted to parade around the stage dressed up as various "Poop" characters with names such as Captain Crap, and Pilot Poop. Of course, our sick sense of humor didn't fly with the high-ups, nor our parents. In turn, we ended up doing this little skit in which we wore these giant torso covering masks... and oh boy..
Just try telling me that isn't the most intense thing you've ever seen in your life! You're looking at a complete bad ass there. Just look at the intensity on that mouth, and don't forget to take note on the missing eye ball, and the hanging eye brow!
Of course you know sarcasm flows throughout that last paragraph. There you have it, just a few samples of my Halloween box and the stupidity that pures forth from it.
It's a good thing I know how to laugh at myself for doing stupid things!