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 Post subject: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 7:23am 
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Shamoozal Vet
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Joined: December, 20, 2006 - 12:06am
Posts: 4601
Location: Pa
I got this spam email this morning and it gave me a good laugh so I thought I'd share.


Quote:
Hello

How’s life treating you, bro?
It’s naturally been ages. That was a hard time for me! I faced certain problems with my men’s health, if you know what I mean. It was an absolute disaster for me! Every time I tried to make love with Celine, my penis let me down. It was hanging helplessly. I was wrecked and ashamed! Being 44 years old and having no erection!? It’s fucken stupid! I was pissed off! But Celine was so delicate and careful that she managed to talk me into trying one of those drugs for erectile dysfunction treatment.
It is no fun, I must tell you. I was ready to try anything! And she ordered that Cialis + Viagra Powerpack from some on-line store. It was delivered the next day. But it all doesn’t matter; the most important thing is that it helped me! I regained my sexual power and we have normal sex now! But I continue taking these awesome pills because I don’t want that horrible time to come back.
So, dude, if you face this problem now you know where to look for help!
Cialis + Viagra Powerpack is a trusted drug, word!

Click and Buy!!!!!!!

_________________
- Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!
-- He's dead, all right.
--- How was I supposed to know where he was?
- You were supposed to fire up. _We_ both fired _up_.
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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 7:52am 
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THE GENERAL
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Joined: June, 7, 2005 - 11:49pm
Posts: 28684
Location: National Park, NJ
Quote:
I faced certain problems with my men’s health, if you know what I mean.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 8:45am 
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High School Bully
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Joined: June, 3, 2005 - 9:23pm
Posts: 31322
Location: New Jersey
Hahaha, I loved it.


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 9:06am 
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Shamoozal Warrior
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Joined: June, 12, 2006 - 12:32pm
Posts: 10377
Quote:
It was hanging helplessly. I was wrecked and ashamed!


AAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 9:47am 
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Artist of Life
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Joined: June, 7, 2005 - 8:11pm
Posts: 10857
Location: South Jersey
Invisible Swordsman wrote:
Being 44 years old and having no erection!? It’s fucken stupid! I was pissed off!

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 1:52pm 
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Corporal Shamoozal
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Joined: October, 16, 2007 - 9:50pm
Posts: 3194
Location: San Francisco, CA
Wow.


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 2:49pm 
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Peepers Peeled
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Joined: July, 10, 2005 - 6:14pm
Posts: 12923
Location: The Island
i wrote an old, old shamoozal post a few years ago about a similar spam mail i got. ill see if i can find it and re-post.

of course, anyone else please share theirs here.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 4:50pm 
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Purple Heart
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Joined: April, 7, 2007 - 12:11pm
Posts: 9496
I got this one today...she sounds like a lovely Robot.


Quote:
Aloha, gentleman!

Sometimes when you look too hard, you fail to see the gem right
in front of you. I want to become your gem. I think that life is
not a bed of roses all the time. So I need someone who will be with me
in good and bad times. I am looking for a serious man who knows what
responsibility is. I consider myself to be sweet and my charm is the
second to none! I value the relationships with my friends and family
as they're very important to me as well. I love to travel, cook,
and do anything that gets me outdoors and keeps me active. Even the
simple things like spending a quiet night in watching movies or
listening to music. But the biggest thing about me is enjoy life
and have a great time. I am looking for someone who would
appreciate me for what I am http://all-way-love.com/13641/

Warm hugs
Ksenya Z

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 4, 2009 - 5:13pm 
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Shamoozal Vet
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Joined: December, 20, 2006 - 12:06am
Posts: 4601
Location: Pa
hahaha the best part is that sounds like every fat chicks profile on those dating sites.

_________________
- Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!
-- He's dead, all right.
--- How was I supposed to know where he was?
- You were supposed to fire up. _We_ both fired _up_.
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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 7, 2009 - 11:09pm 
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Shamoozal Vet
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Joined: February, 12, 2006 - 2:04am
Posts: 4682
Location: Chikity China
Quote:
I tried V. boosters and pleased my wife four hours! Now you try!


That's all it said!

_________________
Elaine: Well, how am I gonna know what movies to see?
Video store employee: We have a wide variety of Thark Picks.
Elaine: Thark's trash.
Video store employee: I'm Thark.
Elaine: [embarassed] Hi.


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: September, 13, 2009 - 3:53am 
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Corporal Shamoozal
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Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
hahaha, did manbot send you that last one?
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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 28, 2011 - 7:42am 
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Shamoozal Vet
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Joined: December, 20, 2006 - 12:06am
Posts: 4601
Location: Pa
I got another good one today. I run a website that is very niche. I got an e-mail today on one of it's subsidary e-mail accounts, not even resembling anything that would make someone think the person at that e-mail address was the owner of the site, that somebody else was trying to register the same domain i'm using.... They didn't even e-mail me on the account that's registered for the domain. But they did make the e-mail official looking.

Quote:
(If you are not the person who is in charge of this, please forward to the right person/ department, as this is urgent, thank you.)



Dear CEO,



We are the department of registration service in China. we have something which needs to confirm with you. We formally received an application on April 27, 2011. One company called "SWY Technologies Limited" is applying to register " usacheckers" as Brand name and domain names as below:

usacheckers.asia
usacheckers.cn
usacheckers.com.cn
usacheckers.com.hk
usacheckers.com.tw
usacheckers.hk
usacheckers.in
usacheckers.tw

After our initial checking, we found the Brand name and domain names being applied are as same as your company! So we need confirmation with your company. If the aforementioned company is your business partner or your subsidiary, please DO NOT reply us, we will approve the application automatically. If you don't have any relationship with this company, please contact us within 5 workdays. If over the deadline, we will approve the application submitted by "SWY Technologies Limited" unconditionally.



Best Regards,
Ken Wang

Senior consultant


I love it. A software company supposedly must want to get into checkers. And even though they're based in china, they want to use the name usacheckers.... brilliant.

Watch out Phil, I'm betting when I turn them down they're going to want to use shamoozal.hk and they'll let you know by e-mailing jacquo@shamoozal.com.

_________________
- Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!
-- He's dead, all right.
--- How was I supposed to know where he was?
- You were supposed to fire up. _We_ both fired _up_.
Image


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 28, 2011 - 8:54am 
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Purple Heart
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Joined: June, 19, 2007 - 11:40pm
Posts: 6369
Location: Oklahoma
wow, hahahahahahaha


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 28, 2011 - 9:53am 
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Shamoozal Warrior
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Joined: June, 12, 2006 - 12:32pm
Posts: 10377
you run the american federation of checkers website?


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 28, 2011 - 11:53am 
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Shamoozal Vet
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Joined: December, 20, 2006 - 12:06am
Posts: 4601
Location: Pa
IratePrimate wrote:
you run the american federation of checkers website?


sort of... I don't do much of anything anymore, but I used to do a bunch and it's all in my name. Once I put up a forum I pretty much let the general population find and post their own news and information. The person that originally setup the site used one of those template site-builder applications and not a very good one so I hardly add any new pages or anything. But I don't get paid or anything so I have no problem letting things run as is until they decide I'm doing a shitty job and find someone else willing to improve the site.

_________________
- Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!
-- He's dead, all right.
--- How was I supposed to know where he was?
- You were supposed to fire up. _We_ both fired _up_.
Image


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 24, 2013 - 7:30am 
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THE GENERAL
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Joined: June, 7, 2005 - 11:49pm
Posts: 28684
Location: National Park, NJ
Just got this.

Quote:
Attn: Consignee,
An abandoned shipment from a secured Courier Company was brought to our facility here in Atlanta Hartsfield/Jackson International Airport today and when scanned it revealed an undisclosed sum of money in a Trunk Box. The consignment was abandoned because the Content was not properly declared by the consignee as money rather personal effect to avoid diversion by the delivery Agent. The details of the consignment are tagged on the Trunk box.

Reconfirm your;
1. Your Name.
2. Home phone & Cell Phone
3. Home delivery address
4. Occupation.
5. Email Address.

Or disregard. Send the required details to me through this email. Once we are through with the normalization, it is recommended that you deploy the services of either Brinks or Transguard. They are specialists in this field and very much geared to provide the security it needs to your doorstep.

Best Regard. Mr. Carney Mark Edward.

_________________
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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 24, 2013 - 10:22am 
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Purple Heart
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Joined: June, 19, 2007 - 11:40pm
Posts: 6369
Location: Oklahoma
Mr. Carney Mark Edward

...Alright


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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: April, 30, 2013 - 1:51pm 
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Peepers Peeled
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Joined: July, 10, 2005 - 6:14pm
Posts: 12923
Location: The Island
manf finds the threads.

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 Post subject: Re: Funny Spam
PostPosted: August, 30, 2013 - 7:04am 
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THE GENERAL
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Joined: June, 7, 2005 - 11:49pm
Posts: 28684
Location: National Park, NJ
Quote:
Hi, My name is Kaye Madden. I used to be extremely fat not so long ago and my friends would often mock at me because of this.
My life was a real hell. I couldn’t walk out to the beach in the swimsuit, I couldn’t go to the club, I wasn’t invited to the parties.
It all changed when I found the medication that helped me. I lost 9 kilos of excessive weight in just one month. I didn’t even change anything in my life.
I didn’t do any exercises or go on a diet. All I did was living my life and losing the weight.
It is nothing but the truth, believe me! It is easy to see, here you can find it.

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