The Dog Thread

Phil · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 2:36pm

I got a dog named Benson for my wife about 2 months ago and I think I hate him. I never had a dog growing up, so maybe this is normal dog stuff, but I'm sick and tired of this mother fucker shitting on my floor. This morning I wake up to a huge river of piss in my kitchen along with three turds, one smashed into the floor meaning he either ate it or stepped on it... or both. The last thing I want to do in the morning is have to mop the floor the minute I wake up, but that is what had to happen this morning. Sometimes I just want to punch him right in the ribs. For a minute though, I seriously did contemplate putting his shit into the crate with him for the day to see how he'll like it. God, he makes me so mad.

If he got hit by a car tonight, I would only care because Demi would be upset. Aside from that, I'd probably sleep well.

Johnny Manf · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 2:39pm

Aside from not learning to shit and piss outside, I felt like you were getting mad at him for normal dog stuff when we were over there watching Lost last week. He wasnt really annoying any of us, just you. The shitting and pissing is terrible but other than that, he's just a normal puppy. He just hasnt learned to be totally house trained yet. I dont know how long that takes. I guess its different with all dogs.

Phil · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 2:47pm

Like I said, I have no idea what is normal for a puppy/dog. I just didn't want him bothering you guys or being annoying during Lost, so I was getting short with him because I just wanted him to stop. I basically just want him to be a human.

Steve · **Joined:** September, 9, 2005 - 12:08pm **Posts:** 10353

we had 3 dogs growing up, once i moved out and got my own place i vowed i would never clean up dog shit or piss again as long as i lived.

Johnny Manf · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 2:51pm

Steve wrote:

we had 3 dogs growing up

Phil · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 2:52pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH. That killed me.

Steve · **Joined:** September, 9, 2005 - 12:08pm **Posts:** 10353

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i just spit out coffee on my screen.

IratePrimate · **Joined:** June, 12, 2006 - 12:32pm **Posts:** 9543

Phil wrote:

The last thing I want to do in the morning is have to mop the floor the minute I wake up, but that is what had to happen this morning. Sometimes I just want to punch him right in the ribs. For a minute though, I seriously did contemplate putting his shit into the crate with him for the day to see how he'll like it. God, he makes me so mad.

is this really a whole lot different from growing up with jim? i mean at least the dog isn't pissing on your friends head.

Phil · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 4:23pm

Hahahah, yeah really. Though that was actually my sister's friends head.

phantomspiker · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 6:32pm

LMAO....well thats ok

i have two dogs and those motherfuckers stay out side....always knocking shit over their tails

Frank · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 6:35pm

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAH this thread is golden.

Dante369 · **Joined:** May, 21, 2006 - 6:30pm **Posts:** 12279

When he shits on the floor, drag him over there, make him look at him, and just say 'No.' Got to tell him it's wrong.

phantomspiker · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 7:11pm

that actually doesn't work...you have to catch him in the act.

Bowie · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 7:16pm

You could take a shit in his cage, see how much he likes it.

Stillies · **Joined:** April, 7, 2007 - 12:11pm **Posts:** 8793

http://youtube.com/watch?v=HTg8bNIEOnw

Hack · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 8:02pm

dude you need the dog whisperer

haha seriously though have you ever caught him pissing or shitting on the floor. if you do grab him and take him right outside. We did this with dude and had me trained in a week. If you see him sniffing around a lot chances are hes about to go.

If hes shitting in his cage then he is sick. B/c they wont shit where they sleep. I think you said on here you changed his food which prolly made him sick

Russell Casse · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 8:21pm

Could be the BUGS. How is that situation going? Haven't heard anything on the home front. I bet Cesar would have him trained in a day. That man is a genius.

Spicy Chicken J · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 11:31pm

You should take him outside right after he drinks or eats. Stay with him until he goes, then praise him. Once you get him trained he'll be fun, and if he's like my dogs he'll eat all the ants taking over your house.

Phil · **Posted:** June, 3, 2008 - 11:35pm

Thanks for all the tips but I have tried and still do all of these suggestions. I think he just enjoys making me angry.

Steve · **Joined:** September, 9, 2005 - 12:08pm **Posts:** 10353

next time he shits on the floor, staple his ears together. if nothing else it will look funny.

Phil · **Posted:** June, 4, 2008 - 10:17am

HAHHAHAHAHA awesome.

Steve · **Joined:** September, 9, 2005 - 12:08pm **Posts:** 10353

haha after i wrote that I realized it was one of the most awful things i've ever thought. i'm a despicable human being.

IratePrimate · **Joined:** June, 12, 2006 - 12:32pm **Posts:** 9543

no, that is funny.

now if you were actually going around stapling dogs ears that would be different. thinking evil is human, doing evil is a choice. i mean batman wouldn't rattle your cage for thinking about raping racheal, but he would if you actually did it.

phantomspiker · **Posted:** June, 4, 2008 - 12:26pm

even batman has unclean thoughts

MetaGamer · **Joined:** June, 2, 2008 - 6:56pm **Posts:** 741

I got my dog during vacation so I was home most of the day making sure it didn't poop on the carpet and taking it outside. With constant attention for two days it hasn't done its business on the floor since.

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The Dog Thread

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