Lou's Work Stories

Louie B · **Posted:** June, 19, 2009 - 1:39pm

I'm at work and I just watched Hellboy II and now I'm watching Can't Hardly Wait. Dante should watch this movie about graduating High School.

Dante369 · **Joined:** May, 21, 2006 - 6:30pm **Posts:** 12271

I want to work at your freakshow haha.

Phil · **Posted:** June, 19, 2009 - 2:00pm

Nate wrote:

The 3 wolf shirt is all powerful.

http://www.amazon.com/THREE-WOLF-MOON-SHIRT-ADULT/dp/B000NZW3IY

just read the reviews. It's magical.

Dude this killed me.

karakuchi · **Posted:** June, 19, 2009 - 2:10pm

I loved the Wal-Mart one the best.

Nick · **Posted:** June, 19, 2009 - 3:32pm

Nate wrote:

The 3 wolf shirt is all powerful.

http://www.amazon.com/THREE-WOLF-MOON-SHIRT-ADULT/dp/B000NZW3IY

just read the reviews. It's magical.

Quote:

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol:

Nate · **Posted:** June, 19, 2009 - 5:39pm

Dude I need a 3 wolf moon shirt so I can get chicks

.

Louie B · **Posted:** June, 20, 2009 - 10:35am

That is great. I had a wolf shirt in middle school when we went on vacation to Tennessee. I quickly abandoned it thinking it wasn't cool! I should have kept it and attracted all the chicks.

Nate you know who I'm talking about for this story. We sometimes have 3 customers walk in who remind me of just what kind of an abomination mankind can be. First is the old black man who is the leader of the group. He has a few teeth in his mouth and looks as frail as balsa wood. Next we have the old woman who just looks completly odd with her rainbow colored mascara and rosy cheeks. She looks like some deformed doll who always wears a bandana. Next is the worst one who I know by name cause they say it in the store like 10 times everytime they walk in. She is called Lisa and she has the largest breasts in a woman and it is disgusting.

Yesterday they walked in and I told Nicole (our coworker) to take a look at Lisa when she walks in. At first glance Nicole thought her enormous breats was her stomach fat. These monsters hang down to her fucking belly button!!! Only in MUTANTVILLE!!!!

Nate · **Posted:** June, 20, 2009 - 11:21am

Louie B wrote:

Yesterday they walked in and I told Nicole (our coworker) to take a look at Lisa when she walks in. At first glance Nicole thought her enormous breasts was her stomach fat. These monsters hang down to her mucking belly button!!! Only in MUTANTVILLE!!!!

bahahahahahaha!!

Louie B · **Posted:** June, 26, 2009 - 11:02am

I hate when people call up and ask if there is Mario game on the PSP, PS2, PS3, or Xbox! These people are clueless! I'm like if you want to play Mario you need a Nintendo.

Phil · **Posted:** June, 26, 2009 - 11:05am

Louie B wrote:

I hate when people call up and ask if there is Mario game on the PSP, PS2, PS3, or Xbox! These people are clueless! I'm like if you want to play Mario you need a Nintendo.

It's one strength that Nintendo should always, ALWAYS force people to remember and know, but they don't really do such a good job of it. Back at KB when Pokemon was absolutely huge there would be people that would buy Gameboys and Playstations together and then ask for Pokemon for Playstation. Mario would come up often too, but not nearly as much as Pokemon.

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 2, 2009 - 11:16am

That little punk Zac came in today and looked for a Disturbed cd and couldn't find it. I checked and couldn't find it either so he just walked around the store until his grandma walked in and asked him what was taking him so long. The whole time he was in here he shuffled his feet and I now understand why my father hated that sound. Its so f'n annoying and I could hear him everytime he moved!!! This is the same kid that gets cocky with everyone who works here arguing about his scratched up games and how we SHOULD take his broken stuff. Little faggot!

phantomspiker · **Posted:** July, 2, 2009 - 1:13pm

Louie B wrote:

That little punk Zac came in today and looked for a Disturbed cd and couldn't find it. I checked and couldn't find it either so he just walked around the store until his grandma walked in and asked him what was taking him so long. The whole time he was in here he shuffled his feet and I now understand why my father hated that sound. Its so f'n annoying and I could hear him everytime he moved!!! This is the same kid that gets cocky with everyone who works here arguing about his scratched up games and how we SHOULD take his broken stuff. Little attractive male!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

the filter strikes again!

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 2, 2009 - 1:48pm

HAHAHAHAHA I had to think what I wrote!!

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 8, 2009 - 1:09pm

I just had another dumbass customer asking if we do trades. I said yeah and his son proceeded to ask if he could trade Legacy of Kain Defiance for Grand Theft Auto San Andreas. I was like hold up trading games don't work like that anywhere except with your friends. I told him how much he would get in credit for his game and his dad went crazy on him. I can sell this game for $25 easily son...I paid $44 for it. That was like 8 years ago when the game was new buddy. The game has dropped to $9.99 and if someone buys it for $25 they must be deaf, dumb, and blind.

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 10, 2009 - 12:55pm

I am sick of this one customer who orders things and expects it to be here in 1-3 days. He calls up everyday bitching and moaning where his softcore 70's porn is. He gets upset when I tell him what day it may actually arrive because he put expediated shipping on it. If we order it on the weekend it doesn't fucking ship. He is annoying as all hell.

MetaGamer · **Joined:** June, 2, 2008 - 6:56pm **Posts:** 741

I just read through this thread, and its one of the greatest things I've ever read.

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:21am

A woman came in last Friday and put an order on Lego Indiana Jones for the Wii. She has called all week asking where its at and I told her it was ordered but I do not control shipping and she got mad at me and said she is pissed and wants to talk to the owner because her physically handicapped child doesn't understand what it means to not have the game. She came in and couldn't get the game to work and I tried resurfacing it for her and it still didn't work. She now complains to me because she can't handle the child asking her where the f'n game is.

JW_Number_ONE · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:26am

Louie B wrote:

A woman came in last Friday and put an order on Lego Indiana Jones for the Wii. She has called all week asking where its at and I told her it was ordered but I do not control shipping and she got mad at me and said she is pissed and wants to talk to the owner because her physically handicapped child doesn't understand what it means to not have the game. She came in and couldn't get the game to work and I tried resurfacing it for her and it still didn't work. She now complains to me because she can't handle the child asking her where the f'n game is.

Everyone that comes into your store should just be sent directly to jail.

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:31am

She was just a bitch and the day she was here I told her I didn't know what day it'd be in but we'll call you when it does. She also said she was out of $20 and I said you will get the game when we get it. I don't know what she means being out of $20....maybe needed it for milk or something today.

Russell Casse · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:38am

Why doesn't she just go to freaking Best Buy or Walmart and buy it? They must have a million copies of the damn game. At worst, why don't freaking order it from Amazon?!?!?! Why would anyone go to your store to put in an order for a game? I don't understand that train of thought. I agree 100% with JW's comment. Do no pass go, do not collect $200, go straight to jail.

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:43am

Because nobody has a computer in this town man. They all bitch and complain about going over to Wal-Mart or Deptford because its too far and then they complain when we order something for them. We have a buncha pussies in this town who do nothing but complain "what about me"

JW_Number_ONE · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:47am

Louie B wrote:

Because nobody has a computer in this town man. They all bitch and complain about going over to Wal-Mart or Deptford because its too far and then they complain when we order something for them. We have a buncha pussies in this town who do nothing but complain "what about me"

What about Raven!

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:52am

What about me? WHAT ABOUT RAVEN!!!

JW_Number_ONE · **Posted:** July, 11, 2009 - 11:58am

ahhahaha I knew you would appreciate that.

Louie B · **Posted:** July, 15, 2009 - 6:17pm

Louie B wrote:

I have my own Rogue's Gallery
-Iron Lung - must be deceased by now
-The Inbreds - they haven't come into the store since 07 because of some stupid cd or movie they ordered and haven't stunk up the joint with their kids odor.
-The Riddler - Thwarted and hasn't returned since I told him I didn't care about what he had to say.
-Howard the Hutt - Still plauges GA almost daily.

I can add The Botanist to the list of Rogues....although she isn't annoying she saw the plant in the store and was like "OH Dear I must save this plant and nurse it back to health." She started pulling off all the dead leaves off of it and told me that we should put it outside to give it some sun.

The next one is not a person but an object. The Telephone of Stupidity is the next rogue because whenever I answer the phone its a dumb question 9 times out of 10.

Since I'm naming them I might as well name Skeletor and her son Mongo...short for mongoloid. She comes in and purchases vhs tapes and looks like death. Her son walks around the game portion of the store asking me If I play games and that he plays games. He also mentions that he doesn't have an Xbox 360 and can't play those games.

S.B.M. or Sassy Black Mama is next. She just came into the store yelling at me because Nate sold her son Terminator Salvation a few hours ago. The son comes into the store telling me the game doesn't work right when it has no scratches or any damage on it and that he wants his money back for it. I will say this....I bet he beat the game in an hour and a half and realized that the game was sucktastic and decided he'd make up a lie. Of course S.B.M. comes in saying that the game doesn't work and her son wants a different game for their trouble. I said no and she started telling customers in the store that this place is horrible and we are evil. I just say good riddence don't bother me again!

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