Shamoozal.com - Smorgas Board

We recently got a Russian guy at our workplace. He's been here for maybe a month or two now, and by Russian I mean off-the-fucking boat Russian. He speaks very little English and has a crazy Russian accent. Normally I would say that this would only be leading to something awesome but this time it's not the case.

I don't know if it's a Russian thing or not but this dude does not shower, wear deodorant or wash his clothes. He smells like the Dark Ages, and it is BAD, as in this guy has an Area of Effect (AoE) of about 10 feet. I didn't mind it before because he was working in a different zone, but they just stuck all of us low senority guys on the shit jobs at our plant so I have to work with the guy on a daily basis.

None of use know what to do about the problem either, this Russian dude is a nice guy even if he is rank as hell. We tried to ask our team leader, supervisor, and Union Steward to politely solve the issue but all they do is tell us it's not their responsibility. A couple of the other guys want to say something themselves but you can apparently be written up for that if the smelly guy complains about it.

It's like the smell of a sweaty gym bag mixed with a corpse, and it's my fucking whoredaddy.

I think I'm going to have to start wearing masks to work.

_________________

Smelly people are the worst. I can never understand how they don't know they smell bad.

I have the opposite here. There's three people who overdo it with the perfume or cologne.
I can smell them coming from a mile away and their strong stench stays around as they walk by. Its not a bad smell but its just too goddamn strong.
I wish I could wear special goggles and see the fumes coming off of them because its gotta be insane. I can seriously smell the one guy 5 minutes after he walks by.

_________________
WWW.MOVIEWISEGUYS.COM

HAHAHAAHHAHAAH.

There is a woman I work with here that's similar. I can't handle her perfume smell. Sometimes it gets stuck in my throat. Yuck.

I got a perfume lady here too...fuckin awful

_________________

overuse of perfume and cologne is a heinous offense.

what's worse the smelly guy or the perfume?

I might actually have to go with the perfume because the body odor doesn't hang around the room as long.

_________________

Baltar, maybe this guy is so FOB that he can't afford to shower or buy cologne. And if you think he should use part of his salary think of it this way, he might have a family to support here or back home or he could even be saving to bring them over.

_________________

He`s been here for about a year now I guess, and used to work at Ford`s making 40 bucks an hour CAD. Plus his entire family consists of his wife and kid who both emigrated with him.

So I`m not going to say either of those is an issue.

Besides, I`m a poor student and I`d glady buy that shit for him if he`s that broke man.

STEAL SOAP FROM THE BATHROOM AT WORK EVEN.

_________________

if washing is considered a luxury, then you are probably homeless and not working at baltars magic factory.

here's a funny/true russian guy story from an old job i had.

we were at the boss's place for a party, and the russian guy started to get drunk (like usual). h coes over to me and starts talking about how everyone in russia just drinks vodka all the time and how alot of it is just nasty. when you drink the nasty stuff, you need to cut it with something strong like a pickle. this one time, he was on a bus and a bottle is being passed around. he takes a swig and its a nasty one. he's about to loose it when he decides the cut the taste by grabbing a kid who was running around and sniffing his SMELLY HEAD. that story almost made ME throw up.

this same russian dude also hid beers in the tank of the toilet. true shit.

_________________
Swear to me.

AHAHAHAHAAA!! they are a hardened group of people.

Where I used to work, this russian guy came in once, I couldn't understand what he was saying, and like, right after he bought his dvd he came at me yelling. I still don't know what it was about but he was gross as hell, it looked like he needed a mirror to get the bread crumbs out of his beard. I tried to be nice but I just ended up walking into the break room.

there were 2 stinky russians in my compsci classes in college, but the pollacks in my physics classes stunk worse....
i think theres just something about foriegners that brings the rank out even moreso than people we're around daily.

_________________
- Oh, great. You killed the invisible swordsman!
-- He's dead, all right.
--- How was I supposed to know where he was?
- You were supposed to fire up. _We_ both fired _up_.

God damn filthy savages!

Maybe they don't shower since it's so cold their, your balls would have frost bite if you showered in russia.

hot water?

well i mean, if it's below 0, and you're wet with any kind of water that's not constantly streaming on you, it's gonna freeeeze

sooooo a hot shower?

Too much cologne can be worse then smelling like shit. At least it doesn't burn your nose if they smell like shit.

However, both really suck.

_________________
Elaine: Well, how am I gonna know what movies to see?
Video store employee: We have a wide variety of Thark Picks.
Elaine: Thark's trash.
Video store employee: I'm Thark.
Elaine: [embarassed] Hi.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this dude does burn your nose. The smell literally burns your goddamn nose, and then when that disgusting smell finally makes its way into your lungs you feel queasy and sick.

All I can say is that the smell travels with him, where cologne and perfume will linger for a bit.

_________________

He was just in my cube for 10 minutes and I could barely breathe.
ITS STILL HERE! I still wish I could put on special goggles and see the fume clouds. I could follow this guy's every move. I can smell wherever he's been in the building.

_________________
WWW.MOVIEWISEGUYS.COM

AHAHAHAHAA!!

There's a guy at my gym like that he reeks of this weird combo of cigarettes and terrible cologne. I hate it. If you're going to chain smoke why even bother working out.

_________________

I chain smoke and ride my bike all the time. Granted I don't go to the gym, and also I do everything possible to keep my clothes and self from smelling like that shit.

Either way, an update to my Russian guy. Turns out he's not straight off the boat, he's been here for like 17 years.

Anyhow, the HR guy pulled him aside and now he showers and shit so it's all good.

All I know, is that when they don't smell Russian guys are awesome as all shit. This guy was telling me about all sorts of crazy old school Russian things from back when he was a conscript in the Red Army, if I can ever remember some of these stories I'll let you know.

_________________