Shamoozal.com - Smorgas Board

Official Forum of Shamoozal.com
It is currently September, 23, 2014 - 10:20am

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 13 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: The void.
PostPosted: June, 18, 2007 - 2:05am 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
I've made a little story for all of you to read, enjoy.

Chapter one: The classroom.
What is this place? It looks like a replica of my school classroom, although it can’t be the real thing. My classroom was demolished into smithereens when the school got funding for new classrooms. I noticed something that wasn’t there before, There are now four doors instead of the original two. Each door had a circle on it, encrusted with a type of stone. The first door had a pearl, representing dignity and beauty. This doesn’t represent me quite well enough. The second door, an emerald, represents charm and cleverness. Not to sound full of myself, but those are two things that describe me fairly well. The third door, Sapphire, Wit, and Persuasion, these are almost perfectly accurate to describe me. And finally the ruby, ignorance, yet bliss. Before I think about opening one of these doors, I think I’ll try to find another way out. As I gazed about the room, I looked at my old teachers desk and saw the drawer. There must be something useful in here. I opened the drawer. I found three items; a magnifying glass, a watch with a broken hour hand, and a piece of tape.

The magnifying glass… Curiosity, and inquiry. The watch, representing that my time is limited. The tape, to mend and to fix. Well that didn’t do anything but tell me the predicament I’ve already fallen into. It’s been at least a good 30 minutes according to the watch, I probably only have 30 more left… Which one of the doors do I pick?! It’s obvious the sapphire! Wait no it’s the ruby! As I sighed, I realized it was no use and couldn’t figure it out. It seemed it was not for me to decide. As I stared up at the wall, I noticed something on the ceiling! A dice! With 16 sides! I get it now, I’m not supposed to decide for myself, but merely let the dice decide for me! Numbers one through 4 will be the ruby, numbers 5-8 will be the emerald, numbers 9- 12 will be the pearl, and 13-16 will be the sapphire. As I threw the dice at the wall I thought, why am I here in the first place? What is this place? There was one thing for sure though; this is the most thrilling experience I’ve ever had in a long, long time.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 18, 2007 - 2:07am 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
I'll release chapters daily by the way.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 18, 2007 - 10:02am 
Offline
Peepers Peeled
User avatar

Joined: July, 10, 2005 - 6:14pm
Posts: 12923
Location: The Island
wow cool! some user submitted stories. sound like an interesting start. keep it up.

_________________
Swear to me.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 18, 2007 - 10:24am 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
Chapter 2: The cellist.
The dice landed on 12, sapphire it is, I firmly grasped the doorknob ready to twist it. The second I did I was not in the classroom; I was in a seemingly endless void. As I paced throughout the void searching for a way to escape this place, my ears picked up a melody. No words but the small deep humming of a cello. As I paced with haste towards the song, a figure emerged out of the abyss of the void in front of me. I asked him “What is this place, why am I here? How am I supposed to get out!?” The figure looked up at me and put out his open hand toward me, as if asking me to yield. He slung his bow atop his strings and started playing a song:
Voiceless it cries,
Wingless flutters,
Toothless bites,
Mouth less mutters.
As I pondered this question I looked down and shackles where on my ankles! The Cello player looked at me with glowing white eyes, a disgusting smirk ran across his face that stretched from cheekbone to cheekbone. I stared at him with the uttermost hatred; he was actually enjoying my torment! I charged at him with a fist curled up, and swung it with all my strength. To my astonishment my body froze almost precisely one inch in front of his face. I looked down and the shackles had melded my ankles to the pitch-black ground! This isn’t good! I have limited time in here as well. I frantically looked around the void for a hnit or a clue. The cellist laughed at me. I stared at my ankles once again to see the darkness take up everything up to my knee. I thought to myself “pull your wits together, after all you are the sapphire!”

As I ponder the clause to supply to the Cellist, I tremble with fear. I don’t think I have too much time left… “Voiceless it cries.” I believe this is telling me it’s not a tangible item, an essence of sorts. “Wingless flutters,” perhaps this means the essence floats or maybe… “AHH.” I shrieked out with pain as the shadow melded up to my waist. “Ok pull yourself together,” I thought. “Toothless bites, Mouth less mutters.” This states that the essence can make sounds, and hurt… what could it possibly be? As I shrieked out in pain once more, I felt a breeze of wind flow by me as the shadow melded with my throat, my vocal cords. Wait! That’s it! The answer is wind! Crap I can’t talk though, how am I supposed to communicate to him. The shadow had completely melded over me.
End Chapter two.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 18, 2007 - 10:35am 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
Ok guys, i have some amazing audio provided by a professional VA, Lucien dodge.
http://media.putfile.com/Void-part-1
http://media.putfile.com/Void-part-2
http://media.putfile.com/Void-part-3


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 18, 2007 - 5:50pm 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
Chapter three: Maze.
I didn’t quit know how I ended up here, but I woke up in mausoleum. I stood up and stepped back just to hit a giant wall. It was so massive I couldn’t even see the top. I looked left and then to my right, and I couldn’t even see the other sides of the room. As I studied the walls closer I read names of various people that I had known throughout my life. Curiously I looked at one. It had my parents name on it, which was very odd considering they where alive last time I was back in reality. So I decided it wasn’t helping to much to stare at names, so I walked aimlessly forward. I had walked for about 15 minutes before I tripped on something. There was a pile of rubix cubes on the ground in front of me, a white one, a black one, and the generic rainbow fashioned one. I couldn’t quite determine which one to pick up considering how fatigued I was from wandering around and being attacked by the shadow. I still have no idea how I’ve survived thus far. I decided to grab the rainbow one because it was the middle ground between white and black. As I reached down to pick it up a breeze of wind blew through my hair and I felt a presence lingering over me. As I reached to finally pick up the rubix cube and look behind me, my hand was evaporated once I got close enough to the cube. I was startled and jumped back and hit a mass of cloth. I looked behind me… Death was staring me in the face. As I stepped back trembling in fear of death, He pointed at me with his bony finger; my body pulsated.

I woke up in my bedroom in my bed quit a bit shook up about the nightmare I had just had, I looked around, everything was normal. As I embraced the warmth of the rising sun, I looked at my hand and the watch was gone. I was not physically harmed in any way or form. I sat up in my bed, planted my feet on the ground with the fuzzy carpet sticking up in-between my toes. I stood up and walked towards my door. As I opened the door and proceeded to walk down the stairs that I had missed so dearly, I did not hear any morning breakfast chit chat. I looked at the clock and it was exactly when breakfast usually is; 9:00am. I couldn’t find anybody in my house, so I assumed they went out to breakfast. I picked up the phone and dialed my friend Dirge’s number. Right before I hit the talk/dial button, my phone rang. I picked it up and it was Dirge. “Hey dude, I just had the weirdest dream” announced Dirge. “Wait, you to!?” I exclaimed. “Yeah a couple others have had it too Gene, so were all heading over to Gerald square to see what’s up, it seems that some of our dreams are connected” said Dirge, “Alright, meet you there.” I thought about what to bring with me. I brought an old katana my parents had on display, and a couple homemade grenades from the Anarchist’s Cookbook.
As I stormed out of the house, my adrenaline pumped through my veins. A pile of emotions where going through me, fear, excitement, and overall I was skeptical about the situation ahead, but as I sprinted down the street I noticed others sprinting along side me. After a while, we did not speak, but one of them had a gas mask on. The other had a cloak on, like something out of a fiction novel. He had a sword like mine and had a determined look in his eyes. As we reached the group of people on Gerald Square, I came to a sudden halt of amazement, There was an giant skeleton that seemed to be held together by gears. I saw many people from my city fending off it’s frenzied strikes. The man next to me with the determined look in his eyes jumping in front of me, withdrew his sword and charged.



Brilliant narroration : http://media.putfile.com/Void-part-4
http://media.putfile.com/Void-part-5
http://media.putfile.com/Void-part-6


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 19, 2007 - 10:37pm 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
Chapter three: Maze.
I didn’t quite know how I ended up here, but I woke up in mausoleum. I stood up and stepped back just to hit a giant wall. It was so massive I couldn’t even see the top. I looked left and then to my right, and I couldn’t even see the other sides of the room. As I studied the walls closer I read names of various people that I had known throughout my life. Curiously I looked at one. It had my parents name on it, which was very odd considering they were alive last time I was back in reality. So I decided it wasn’t helping to much to stare at names, so I walked aimlessly forward. I had walked for about 15 minutes before I tripped on something. There was a pile of rubix cubes on the ground in front of me, a white one, a black one, and the generic rainbow fashioned one. I couldn’t quite determine which one to pick up considering how fatigued I was from wandering around and being attacked by the shadow. I still have no idea how I’ve survived thus far. I decided to grab the rainbow one because it was the middle ground between white and black. As I reached down to pick it up a breeze of wind blew through my hair and I felt a presence lingering over me. As I reached to finally pick up the rubix cube and look behind me, my hand was evaporated once I got close enough to the cube. I was startled and jumped back and hit a mass of cloth. I looked behind me… Death was staring me in the face. As I stepped back trembling in fear of death, he pointed at me with his bony finger; my body pulsated.

I woke up in my bedroom in my bed quite a bit shook up about the nightmare I had just had. I looked around, everything was normal. As I embraced the warmth of the rising sun, I looked at my hand and the watch was gone. I was not physically harmed in any way or form. I sat up in my bed, planted my feet on the ground with the fuzzy carpet sticking up in-between my toes. I stood up and walked towards my door. As I opened the door and proceeded to walk down the stairs that I had missed so dearly, I did not hear any morning breakfast chit chat. I looked at the clock and it was exactly when breakfast usually is; 9:00am. I couldn’t find anybody in my house, so I assumed they went out to breakfast. I picked up the phone and dialed my friend Dirge’s number. Right before I hit the talk/dial button, my phone rang. I picked it up and it was Dirge. “Hey dude, I just had the weirdest dream”, announced Dirge. “Wait, you to!?” I exclaimed. “Yeah a couple others have had it too Gene, so were all heading over to Gerald square to see what’s up, it seems that some of our dreams are connected” said Dirge, “Alright, meet you there.” I thought about what to bring with me. I brought an old katana my parents had on display, and a couple homemade grenades from the Anarchist’s Cookbook.
As I stormed out of the house, my adrenaline pumped through my veins. A pile of emotions where going through me, fear, excitement, and overall I was skeptical about the situation ahead, but as I sprinted down the street I noticed others sprinting along side me. After a while, we did not speak, but one of them had a gas mask on. The other had a cloak on, like something out of a fiction novel. He had a sword like mine and had a determined look in his eyes. As we reached the group of people on Gerald Square, I came to a sudden halt of amazement. There was an giant skeleton that seemed to be held together by gears. I saw many people from my city fending off it’s frenzied strikes. The man next to me with the determined look in his eyes jumping in front of me, withdrew his sword and charged.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 20, 2007 - 2:40am 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
http://media.putfile.com/Final-verison-
Ok, fully narrorated with music, sexy :3


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 21, 2007 - 11:54pm 
Offline
Peepers Peeled
User avatar

Joined: July, 10, 2005 - 6:14pm
Posts: 12923
Location: The Island
wow that was some recording. it deffinately had a professional quality to it. i gotta say i don't think i was following the story very well. i know there are a bunch of people who had a similar dream, then they taking swords off the walls and running down the street and attacking a giant skeleton held together with gears (an image i like btw). then there was a battle with some kind of militia.

it sounds like a good idea, but maybe in future installments try to boil your idea down to the most basic principals. a teacher in school once told me that if you can't tell someone what your story is about in one sentence, then you've got too much on your plate. everything else in the story supports that main idea.

keep at it!

_________________
Swear to me.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: June, 22, 2007 - 12:35am 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
Thanks guys, Yeah, im 16 and i don't really like writing so yeah ;3


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The void.
PostPosted: November, 17, 2008 - 3:15pm 
Offline
Shamoozal Legend
User avatar

Joined: June, 7, 2005 - 10:44pm
Posts: 22252
Location: New Mexico
We getting anymore installments of these stories or what? I'm still waiting for the next chapter.

_________________
"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. "


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The void.
PostPosted: November, 19, 2008 - 12:42am 
Offline
Shamoozal Vet
User avatar

Joined: February, 12, 2006 - 2:04am
Posts: 4682
Location: Chikity China
Pulling it out of the spiderwebs I see.

Yeah, let's see some more of this.

- Thark

_________________
Elaine: Well, how am I gonna know what movies to see?
Video store employee: We have a wide variety of Thark Picks.
Elaine: Thark's trash.
Video store employee: I'm Thark.
Elaine: [embarassed] Hi.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: The void.
PostPosted: December, 1, 2008 - 5:03pm 
Offline
Corporal Shamoozal
User avatar

Joined: June, 17, 2007 - 10:18pm
Posts: 3227
hahaha wow I forgot about this, I just got a studio mic so i might throw down some new installments... and a series pitch to sci-fi, or i can get drunk and write one for adult swim


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Forum locked This topic is locked, you cannot edit posts or make further replies.  [ 13 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group